Getting served

(Back on my lovely laptop, mended and rescued by Hubby and working better than before.  Huge thanks and warm fuzzies to Jeff of Bytes for a Bit who just happened to have a Win98SE setup CD with him on Sunday.  Cold pricklies to Compaq for selling laptops but not giving you setup CDs.)

I work in a bank in customer service.  This involves answering the phone a lot and gives me a pathological aversion to answering the phone at home.  These are field notes, things I've found that come in handy.  Did I miss anything out?

Chill out, be polite, it'll all get fixed just fine.

If we sold your account to another company, I have no idea what's going on with it.  I can't go check another company's system, you'll have to call them and ask.  I can't look up your account under another company's account number.

Saying "why did you send me this letter?" doesn't help much.  I can't see the letter through the phone.I don't have your file on my desk, I have to go fetch it.  My desk isn't big enough

for all of the files in the company.

It helps a lot if you know your account number and don't throw a hissy fit when asked for your social security number and some verification information.

It helps a lot if you don't throw a hissy fit at all.If it's not your account, I can't tell you about it without permission from the

owner.  Even if you're married to the owner and you throw a hissy fit.

I didn't personally mess up your account out of spite.

Please don't call me "muffin lady," even if I have made your day by fixing your account.

I'm not psychic.  Saying "there's something wrong with my account" isn't terribly informative.I probably didn't talk to you last time you called, and even if I did, it's unlikely

I'll remember you or what we talked about, unless you did something memorable like throw a hissy fit.

Throwing a hissy fit isn't very productive.  You can accomplish a lot more by saying "I'm really upset about this, can I talk to your manager?"

Sometimes my manager isn't available and you'll get their voicemail.  This is not the end of the world.Some things we need in writing, that's the policy.  Getting angry won't change

that.

If I put you on hold, please don't call everyone else on your other lines.  Talking to three people at the same time is a little excessive, and they'll probably have to put you on hold too.

Saying "thank you" makes my day.