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Humour

A collection of 155 issues

Un-serious gender-neutral group forms of address

Trying to get "foolish mortals" accepted as a good gender-neutral group form of address. "Hello foolish mortals, thank you for coming to my meeting." Posted on Mastodon Lots of people had opinions for alternatives: Foolish mortals Dearest citizens Mortals and Immortals, Animals, Minerals, and Flora, lend

Cat speeds (observed)

Speed: Zero Asleep. Eyes closed, no response to touch or sound. A rare stillness. Speed: Stalk Prey sighted, in stealthy pursuit. Slow, measured tread with frequent stops to freeze in place. Speed: Jaunty trot Tail up, bouncy step, cat is happy. Speed: Full sprint Flat-out run, maximum speed, no cornering

Shaggy dog story

This extended pun/shaggy dog story is the explanation behind my Twitter and Instagram handles, BritishKoalaTea. A man walks into a tea-shop while on holiday in Marseille and asks the waiter about the specials. He is told that the house serves a delicious tea that is doubly special because it

Old jokes

I love the cheesy sequence jokes I used to hear as a kid: How many elephants can you fit into a Mini Cooper? Four How do you know if you have an elephant in your fridge? Footprints in the butter How do you know if you have two elephants in

Cover band names

Every once in a while you hear a phrase and think, "That would be a good band name." These are my current favourites: 1. No Visible Cow 2. Flying with Cats 3. Angry Hatstand 4. Unexploded Balm 5. Decaf Piranha 6. Teacup Hierarchy 7. Grumpy Old Queen 8.

What's in a title?

Riffing off the sci-fi novel "Bowl of Heaven" with Husband, I was sad to find out the second book in the series was not "Spoon of Heaven," or "Weetabix of Heaven," because it would fit perfectly. We came up with some other novel titles

What NOT to say to your QA

It's a feature, not a bug. But why would you even do that? QAs are just failed developers. My code is perfect, I don't write bugs. You're not supposed to do that in the app. It's a design error, not a bug.

Your software project might have a QA if...

Some of these are mine, some I lifted from the company Slack channel for Quality Advocacy. * You're used to finding Cyrillic or Greek or Mandarin in the database * There's code in place to stop you copying War and Peace into the app multiple times * You know

Sh*t my QA says

There is a bug, I just haven't found it yet. Well, it's broken on my machine! In the Danish version of Windows, if you click really fast, the app just crashes. It doesn't work when I put Cyrillic text in. Or Greek, Hebrew, or

Words to a new software QA

We're not after the developers. We're after their code. It's not personal. If they didn't want us to find the bug, they shouldn't have written it in the first place. QA starts with the requirements, if those are vague, the

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