Un-serious gender-neutral group forms of address

Trying to get "foolish mortals" accepted as a good gender-neutral group form of address.
"Hello foolish mortals, thank you for coming to my meeting."

Posted on Mastodon

Lots of people had opinions for alternatives:

Foolish mortals
Dearest citizens
Mortals and Immortals, Animals, Minerals, and Flora, lend me your hearing apparatus
Greetings Fungal Derivatives
Descendants of the primordial ooze
Ostensible humans
Hi diddly-ho coderinos, let's kick this off
My un-indicted co-conspirators
Fellow kids
Hello Possums!
Remain calm, human scum
Fellow earthlings
Butternuts
My broccoli, hello
Cheezits
Squashlings
Friends and Enemies
Potatoes
Greetings, sentient beings
Fellow sinners / Good Morning Sinners
Hello everypony
Ordinary mortals
Hail, fellow humans
Ugly bags of mostly water

The best reply is in song: Could you really not just put this in an email

And a couple of good meeting sign-offs:

• Stay fresh, cheese bags
• Stay cool, fruit mats, from https://ohai.social/@alicemcalicepants